Strong Like Mom

Being a single parent is tough. No one could have ever prepared me for how tough it would be. I thought I knew how to but in reality I don’t think anyone knows what it’s like until it happens to them.

My son is almost 2 this year. (I know how cool!) Yesterday was Easter and I like every parent wanted the first Easter where he could go find eggs fun and memorable. (More so memorable for me since he wont remember it) And I found myself disappointed with my family.

Let me tell you about them. I have 4 brothers and 2 sisters all of whom are younger than me. My brother Jared is 24 and he has a beautiful daughter named Kinlee and a gorgeous girlfriend named Randi. They are all great together. My second sibling is Brooklyn she’s gonna be 21 this month and she’s equally as pretty as a page from a magazine but with an attitude you don’t wanna mess with. She will put you in you’re place. Not that that’s a bad thing but she comes off strong. Then there’s Victor he is 20 and he’s my step brother his dad married my mom and lived happily ever after. There’s Breanna shes 15 and shes a blonde haired blue eyed monster. Shes sweet when she wants and lovable but she wants her way just like every other 15 year old on the planet, the think they know best. Eddie is 14 and its hard to believe he is going to start driving soon it kind of freaks me out but well it happens. Jack is the youngest and by the youngest I mean he is the baby and he will let you know he’s the baby, he tells everyone he is the favorite and sometimes we let him believe that, only to see his toothy grin and sassy smile knowing he won.

My family LOVES to get together every chance we get we are planning a time to get together and eat and celebrate something.

Like I was saying Easter 2017. I felt a little bit bullied. Not in the severe way where you shut down and blame everyone for your problems more of the please don’t tell me how to raise my child and explain to me what I’m doing wrong with him kind of bullied.

By nature I am a VERY LOUD person. I can’t help it, its my personality and my mom does this thing where she tries to get me to quiet down by slowly closing her pointer finger and middle finger down to meet her thumb maybe your parents did this with you maybe not.

My son has hit his terrible two’s a few months early and as much as I love him he does make me mad and he likes to throw things to test me. (Like this morning when he threw his spoon on the floor and got milk and cheerios everywhere.) Anyways he likes to take things that aren’t his and when it comes to his cousin Kinlee he wants to take all her toys and not share anything with her. (She’s six months younger than him almost to the day.)

I had to put him in a time-out twice and tell him not to take her stuff and basically I was running around all day making sure he was behaving himself and so in doing that I looked to be trying to control him, which was not what I was trying to do at all. But then again everyone think’s it’s easier to parent your child then parent your own and they always have advice on what you should or should not do. That is what happened to me.

Like I said I love my family but we don’t always get along and sometimes all of our strong personalities clash and there in lies a fight or an argument that lasts way longer than it should and it gets blown out of proportion until someone (usually not me) blows up and freaks out and tries to solve it with angry words. Luckily we aren’t there… yet.

I let what I wanted to say slide and let it go but it was nagging at me all night even after we all left my mom’s house and headed to our own homes.

My mom is a very strong person and I strive to be like her one day and she never seemed to be so smart when I was young and living under her roof but now I think about things she’s said to me over the years and even back then and I think wow I should have listened to you. (I’m sure none of you have ever felt like that towards your mom.) She sent me a text telling me how much she loved me and some other stuff that really hit home and made me open my eyes to see myself as others see me.

Her words, “I know you felt picked on yesterday and I’m sorry. It’s just tough to see little man get in trouble. You don’t hear how loud you talk and its’ hard for me to hear what sounds like yelling at him. He’s such a little guy and your voice is so very big. I love you both.” Wow my mom it one text message showed me what it was like for her to hear me talk to my son and that made me not only sad because I thought I was doing the right thing but also put me from her point of view in perspective. It’s hard to hear (or read) criticism when it comes to how you should parent your child but in this case I am so very grateful for what she showed me.

Since yesterday was Easter it was eye opening to see how much a parents love for you can do, just as God loved Jesus so much he rose him from the grave. That kind of love I strive to show my child and the rest of my family. Like I said I love my family but we don’t always get along.

As for my mom I strive to be strong like my mom.

Happy late Easter!

-Jasmine

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